Thoughts on dominance
I have recently been reflecting a lot on the meaning and manifestations of Female Dominance. There are so many characteristics which are (wrongly) associated with Dominant Ladies and that are used by many women to assert a fake image of Dominance. So I have decided to try to debunk the myths about Dominant Ladies in order to establish what it is that really, truly makes a lady dominant.
How about we go one by one through the attributes that are commonly associated with Dommes, or at least used by non dominant women to fool men into thinking that they are Dommes.
So many videos show women dressed in leather, wielding a whip or other instrument of torture, and screaming their head off at some poor naked man tied to a post. But think for a second… When do you shout? My guess is that if you look back at all the times in your life when you have shouted at people, you will begin to notice a few commonalities between all those times. You most likely felt like you had no control over the situation, so you resorted to shouting. Maybe it was because you lost control of yourself. Maybe even, it was because you felt threatened. A shouty woman is not a Dominant Woman. A shouty woman is a woman who does not know how to establish her dominance for the simple reason that she is not dominant. Or it is a woman who does not know how to control herself. Do you really want to submit to a woman who can’t even control her own impulses? Look out for clips that include too much shouting to avoid these ladies. A true Dominant Woman will need only to whisper, or look at you in the right way for you to crumble at Her feet, ready to do whatever She asks of you. A Lady who is naturally Dominant expresses that through Her presence.
Now we come to the sticky subject of Female Supremacy etc. I am probably going to anger a few people here, but in My opinion, being a man hater does not a Superior, Dominant Female make. It is so easy to hate and reject. It is much harder to make the effort to understand. Misandric ladies are just out to get their revenge on mankind for wrongs done to them in the past. They want to punish in an attempt to feel like they have tilted the scales in their favour. We are different, men and women. Neither is superior or inferior. Some of us are dominant, some submissive, and some are in one of many places between the two. It is fun to play with a man and degrade him, but does that really truly make all men inferior? Being Dominant does not have to equate with being a vengeful man hater. A website that focuses a little too much on Female Supremacy or on how pathetic all men are is a good clue that you are onto a man hating nutter.
Bitches gonna be bitches. But really, does being a nasty piece of work a Dominant Woman make? This brings us right back to the shouty Dommes. Someone who cannot help but attack everything and everyone in their path is someone who one would not wish to surrender control to. Aggressive impulses can be dangerous. They show weakness of character and lack of self control. Not qualities that would be displayed by a true Dominant Female.
#4 Overt sexuality
Sure it’s nice to think that your Mistress gets off on using you and seeing you grovel. And yes, in many ways We do. But it is more psychological than physical. Ok, My panties do get wet when I’m fucking a guy up the arse. But if you visit a Mistress and She begins to put on a show for you, rubbing Her tits and fanny in order to “tease” you, You need to ask yourself… Is She really dominating you or is She pandering to your desires? If She is actually pandering to your desires (the much more likely of the two scenarios), then She is probably not the Domme She made Herself out to be. A true Dominant Lady will not give you cheap thrills. She will not sell Herself for your pleasure. A true Dominant Lady will not cheapen Herself by giving away too much. Domination is not a sex show. These ladies can be spotted off the bat by website images that look like soft porn.
“Me! Me! Me! It’s all about Me!” sounds the song of the Instadomme. Spoiled, self centred, and oblivious to Her subs. You’ve all seen Her running around twitter, showing you the finger and trying to get money off you. This young lady is after just one thing, your bank card. She knows nothing about BDSM, consensuality, safe play, etc. She thinks that she has found a get rich quick scheme and is jumping on the bandwagon. Easily recogniseable by her shot from above selfies, which give her away as a girl with low self esteem hoping to get her good angle on camera, this girl is most likely a scammer who is not dominant at all, just an opportunist.
Beware young man, there are a lot of ladies out there who are just after your money. They will not play by the rules of Safe, Sane and Consensual; they will not give you aftercare; they are not truly Dominant. Know what to look for and you will spot them straight away. Remember, choose wisely who to submit to. We play a dangerous game and it is best to play safely.