Thoughts from My sick bed

Yes, I am sick. hopefully nothing serious. I don’t know what it is yet, but My throat is rather sore, and the doctor said it’s most likely viral, so I won’t be conducting sessions until I return from Portugal. It’s not all bad though, spending the day in bed has allowed Me the time to think about things, and also to have a little fun on twitter.

Antonia Davenshaw wrote a rather amusing tweet this morning:

It got Me thinking about limerick poems, and I wondered whether I could write a good one with My own name. This is what came out:

I offered to My followers to come up with their own, and what followed was a hilarious suite of wildly imaginative limericks. Here they are for your perusal:

Which one was your favourite? Can you write an even better limerick?

I have also had time to reflect on a few things today. One of the things that has been on My mind a lot recently is the complete and utter ridiculousness of many male submissives. This is a very broad statement, and for good reason. it covers a lot of territory. Over time, I have come to see men do all sorts of strange things that I am perfectly comfortable with and see as normal in their own way: from eating shit, to wanting to have garbage shoved up their arse. fetishes and drastic forms of submission do not seem strange or crazy to Me. What does though, is the way that some people try to approach Me.

Maybe I was brought up with different values from the rest of the world, but as far as I know, you approach a professional respectfully. I would never start My first email to even such thing as customer services for the supermarket with the word “hi”. And surely, if you are coming to see a Mistress, it is because something deep within you is urging you to submit. So you could start by not doing any of the things that have now become pet peeves.

First of all, let’s talk about modes of contact. On My website, I state quite clearly that in order to book a session, you should fill in the contact form. If you wish to book a same day session, then by all means call Me or text Me. But this is the only case in which you should do so. There is a reason for which I prefer emails. If our conversations are in the form of correspondence, then I have a written record of them. If all we do is chat on the phone, then how am I supposed to remember everything 3 weeks later and be able to give you the experience that you desire? I take phone bookings for same day sessions because I cannot guarantee that I will be able to respond to emails in a timely manner. Phone and email are one thing, but the worst is when I am contacted for a session via whatsapp or when a sub asks Me to follow them on twitter so they can DM Me about a possible session. Twitter and whatsapp are the platforms that I use for fun socialisation. Yes, I promote Myself on twitter, but this does not mean that I conduct business on there. Have you tried buying an oyster card on TFL’s twitter? I bet you it won’t work. Same thing. There are so many platforms through which to communicate nowadays, that if I don’t keep My business communications limited to just a few of them, I will lose track of what is coming from where. Also, just because you have your GP’s mobile number, doesn’t mean that you are going to add them on whatsapp and message them whenever you have a pimple or feel like a chat, does it? Same thing here. My job is a non-conventional one, I will give you that. However, I am a professional. I pay taxes, I run a business. I am not your mate. I am your Mistress. And the least that you can do is be a bloody gentleman instead of acting like a neanderthalic teenager with his baseball cap backwards and the crotch of his trousers at his knees. Surely, you are an educated male, so act like one.

Now that we have covered the basics of first contact, let us discuss the ways in which so many of you choose to address Me. Forgive Me for being a pedant, but this is pretty much in the same vein as what I have just described above. I am a Mistress. I am not your beer buddy, I am not your girlfriend, I am not your office crush. when you speak to Me on the phone, or write to Me, as much as our ways as a society are changing for the worse, and etiquette becomes more and more lax,  I was brought up properly, and have traditional values. I expect men to do their best to be gentlemanly, and that includes doing so by putting a minimum of effort into their correspondence and phone manners. If you think that I am asking for too much, then go and see one of the many ladies who will be perfectly happy with you using text speak in your emails and calling them babe. None of that for Me, thank you very much. I was privately educated, followed by going to a red brick university. I was brought up to be a lady, and expect My submissives to be men, not dirty little savages.

Now, I perfectly understand that you may be nervous about choosing the right lady. After all, we might not be suited for each other at all. It is always a risk spending so much on meeting a new Mistress. However, you may not be aware that many men try to get free masturbatory material off keeping a Mistress on the phone for ages or taking part in a game of email back-and-forth’s, with always more questions, trying to get the Mistress to essentially write erotica for them on the premise that they would like to know what will happen to them in a session. These few ruin it for the rest. You can blame them for My lack of willingness to indulge in writing long laborious emails in response to every enquiry. One of the reasons for which I write this blog is to help you all gain an insight into the workings of My mind and My love for My job, so that you may all have the opportunity to see how much I really do care and to get a sense of My trustworthiness. If you really wish to get to know Me, then take Me out for lunch or dinner. My tribute for a simple lunch or dinner is of £50 per hour. Perfectly affordable, and the perfect opportunity to get a rapport going. So there is no excuse to demand explicit explanations of every single thing that I plan to do to you by email.

One last thing: So many of you, when contacting Me, insist on telling Me about how handsome, athletic, etc you are, or write diatribes about how you are a true alpha male in real life. Between you and Me, here’s a little secret: I am not a sad little materialistic 20 something with low self esteem. I could not care less for your physique. You can be beautiful, ugly, young, old… it does not matter to Me. I go deeper than the skin. What matters to Me is who you are inside. It is your psyche that interests Me. I don’t need to parade around with hot young men to feel good about Myself. I have absolutely nothing to prove to the world. As for the “alpha males” among you, it doesn’t matter what you are in vanilla life: all that matters is what you are the moment you step through My door. It will make no difference in the way I treat you whether you are a C.E.O. with a temper or a cashier from asda with a liking for pink socks. All men are naked in My dungeon, all men are equal.

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