The Pedestal (a raw and unedited rant)

Goddess worship. That’s what it’s all about right?

You poor stupid men. You really are setting yourselves up for failure again and again. You don’t need a Woman to punish you. You do it to yourselves perfectly well enough.

Most likely, you have no idea what I am talking about, so let’s start at the beginning. Myself and many of My Mistress friends have a recurring problem with personal slaves. This problem is that they put Us on a pedestal and then when We don’t live up to their image of Feminine Perfection, the whole thing crumbles in one almighty mess. It just happened to Me a few days ago. And it wasn’t the first time. So I think it’s time for a bit of education for all you desperate boys who want nothing more than to kneel at the feet of a Woman.

There is a huge problem within our society, and that problem is pretty much “how men see Women”. As much as many of you call yourselves submissives, what actually happens with you is that you find one Woman on whom to devote all your fantasies about submission, elevating Her to the status of Goddess to be worshipped, and all other Women are whores. It’s an attitude that is so ingrained in western society that you might not even notice yourself thinking that way. Often, it comes from having a special relationship with your mother or some other motherly figure, having elevated her to the status of a virginal, wise, strong perfect woman, and then being distraught when other women don’t live up to her standard, thus lowering themselves beyond your ability to respect them.

Well let Me tell you a secret: There are a lot of things your mother has never told you about herself. She had to be strong in order to bring you up, only showing you her game face, because she wanted you to feel that you could rely on her. But you know what? Your mother has weaknesses. I bet you she got laid while you were growing up. I bet you she made mistakes. She probably got home drunk at night after you had gone to bed on more than one occasion. She most likely got her heart broken, had her moments of meanness towards people, maybe even took drugs when she left you with the babysitter. Parents hide a lot of things from their children. So sorry to break your fantasy, but your mother IS NOT the all perfect Virgin Mary.

Now that I have that cleared up, let’s look at the case in point. So… you find this Mistress who seems just perfect. She is beautiful, sexy, intelligent, just everything you have ever dreamed of. You visit her, and you can feel some deep connection. The way she speaks to you, touches you… it’s like she can see right into your soul! At that moment, you decide to devote yourself to her completely. You do everything you can to serve her, offering her money, gifts, services, everything. Finally, you have found the Goddess who is deserving of your worship! Sheer perfection! You throw yourself into servitude without a second thought. a month or two in, you are already making plans for a holiday together the next year. You are looking into the future, and it’s beautiful. The two of you walking off into the sunset, Her in front, you crawling behind on Her leash. She is so truly superior to you. Everything about Her deserves to be worshipped….

Then something happens… This Woman who was a Goddess in your eyes fucks up. Whether She has the wrong opinion about something, or you discover that She has a habit that does not fit into your ideal of perfection… or whether, like it was in My case, your illusions are crushed because you find out that She had sex with someone (Nope, definitely not a virgin Mary. Sorry but not sorry). You dreams are crushed and she is relegated to realm of mere mortals. You send Her bitter emails and text messages. Whereas before you used to capitalise everything to do with Her (You are my Mistress, or even better: YOU are my MISTRESS), to show Her how little regard you have for Her now that She has failed to live up to your unrealistic expectations, you make a point of writing to Her without any capitalisation whatsoever, and suddenly speaking to Her as an equal. You make a point of telling Her that She hurt your sensibilities, abused your trust etc… You are so hurt and indignant, and you feel your world crumbling around you. You thought this one woman would be your saving grace, would once more give you faith in Women, but now you see them for what they are, all of them. Nothing but a bunch of lying abusive users. Nothing but whores.

I am of course exaggerating things a little for the sake of getting a point across, but then again, maybe I’m not exaggerating that much.

I am going to tell you something now which is going to blow your little man world (as is My habit of doing)

If you are miserable, you have only yourself to blame. If She didn’t live up to your (unspoken, may I add) expectations, you have only yourself to blame. The sad truth is that nobody is perfect. Everybody has their flaws. And love is about learning to accept someone flaws and all. Not only that, but it’s all good and well building up an empire state building of expectations, but if you never communicate any of these to your Mistress, how the hell is She supposed to know what you are looking for? Also, I’m not telling you you should communicate your expectations to your Mistress. Lord no! In fact, you should NOT HAVE any expectations! How dare you expect someone, who is living their own life quite happily and doing you the service of taking you on as their slave, to live up to some half baked ideal about perfection that is not only completely unrealistic, but which you also never communicate in the first place? How dare you expect them to bend to your will? You want someone in your life who will do exactly everything you want how you want? Stop looking for a Mistress and get yourself a dog.

The End

PS: The moral of this story is twofold:

Number 1: Always communicate about FUCKING EVERYTHING. You have ZERO right to expect things from someone that you have not both already agreed to specifically in verbal or written from

Number 2: Women are human beings. Worship Us like Goddesses by all means. But do not expect Us to ACTUALLY BE Goddesses.

The Real End. For Realz, yo.

  • Robert Jones

    Does this work both ways? Do dommes idealise their subs, who of course necessarily fail from time to time?

    31st October 2016 at 10:12 pm
  • Alan Yeska

    Holy Cow Batwoman, that was Great!
    Mistress I enjoyed the rant, you brought up some very good points and one reminder I always use when I find that some one isn’t meeting my shoulds, I ask myself is it better to be happy or right? I would rather be happy so LET IT GO… does this mean that you are available or seeking a new slave?

    31st October 2016 at 10:30 pm
  • Ian

    Written with such insight, eloquence and passion! Thank You for articulating this concern so vividly.

    Whatever it is about our culture that warps men’s attitudes towards women so harmfully, it runs very deep. As a male sub, I feel that I have long been conscious of this tendency within to idealise to an absurd extent, and have therefore been able to control it. One must make a clear distinction between fantasy and reality, and perhaps ask oneself what it is about the fantasy that has such power. What weakness inadequacy or deprivation is really being expressed when one tries to project such unrealistic notions onto a flesh and blood woman.

    I suspect that this tendency of ours to deify might helpfully be seen as a bizarre fruit nurtured in darkness, fed by the manure of misogyny. Mixing metaphors, it is the distorted mirror image of the general misogyny and objectivisation of women endemic in our culture.

    As You say, letting the daylight in, recognising the complexity and contradictions in us all, and acknowledging the flaws and limitations in our fantasies, is a big step in the right direction!

    20th November 2016 at 12:37 pm
  • I totally understand your point, learned about it from my past experience. One of my ways of verification for wanna be personal slaves now is allowing them to see me wearing baggy jumper and old trainers – the personal fantasy is put at risk here and this first stage of natural selection leaves the most “locked in their own dream” out…

    20th November 2016 at 5:25 pm
  • Grant Payne

    I thought that the whole genre was a kink, a fantasy, I can hardly believe that people who call a Mistress ‘Goddess’ because she insists on the title really believe she is a Goddess. Mistress and sub is all for fun and is no more real than Johnny Depp is a pirate or Robert De Niro is a mafia godfather, or am I the only ‘sub’ who knows its just fun…despite the fact I have been generous to some Mistresses I don’t want to run to the sun with them!

    17th December 2016 at 8:56 pm
  • Andrea

    Sacher Masoch used to say that the submissive person has the real power, is the real master of the relationship; and that the dominant person is being manipulated to fit the expectations of the submissive slave. And if those expectations are not fullfilled then the slave is dissapointed and remove the goddess from her piedestral. that’s the point of this excellent article.

    8th January 2017 at 11:47 am
  • I hope it felt good you have that off your chest and together with you I hope the guy read it.

    I expect most men, actually people, have gone through a similar experience in their early life and then decided to marry that mr. or ms. perfect. And then all of us come to our senses in later life. I guess it’s a human thing to want to find that super-person “the one”. Some (rich) people are even tricked into it. If one didn’t understand the relationship between an escort or a mistress and themselves, then they have a bit of an issue with themselves, I agree.

    21st April 2019 at 8:39 am

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