The difference between a Domme and a Cunt
There seems to be this terrible preconception that Dominatrices are bitches: cold heartless cunts who use and abuse men for their pleasure before throwing them away like trash. There are quite a few ladies out there for whom this preconception works very well, allowing them to bask in their over-inflated egos and ignore the ethical conundum of the difference between BDSM and abuse. You will recognise these ladies from their twitter feeds full of hatred and spite towards both men and other Mistresses. BDSM, Femdom, and general D/s are not about “I am better than you”. It is fun to play this game within the context of a scene, but at the end of the day it can cause irreparable damage to believe that this is true.
Many of you who read My blog are not actively involved in the BDSM scene, if at all. There is a strict code of conduct and ethics on the BDSM scene that is there for a reason. Quite a few professional Mistresses get away with shunning that code due to the fact that many of their clients have no idea of its existence. They parade themselves as professional, when all they are really after is your money, whatever the consequences to your well being.
So many men who come to Me for sessions, or who come to serve at Dungeon Manor tell Me horror stories about their past experiences. I hear stories of extortion, blackmail, abuse both emotional and physical… the list goes on. Some of this will have been one session with one Mistress, some over up to many years of servitude. What truly hurts Me in all of this is that when they tell Me these stories, they tell them to Me as if it’s normal to be treated this way by Mistresses. IT IS NOT NORMAL!
I know your fantasies are about being treated like dirt, used and abused… but what you need to do is look back on those past sessions. The lady you paid so dearly for a service treated you terribly and then showed you the door. What happens next? You get sub drop, alone. Any intense experience produces a high, then a low. If the high was intense, expect the low to be so too. Any “professional” Mistress has a duty to take care of you. We are getting paid enough that we can afford to spend that little bit of extra time helping you to unwind from your intense experience.
Sorry to break it to all the ladies out there, but this is a customer service industry just like any other. You, the submissive/masochist/arse slut… are paying to have an experience. You are paying large amounts to have this experience with someone who will be professional about it. Femdom exists, Femdom is a huge part of My life. But if you are paying Me good money, I owe it to you to play safely, play consensually, and take care of you afterwards. I owe it to you not to create emotional trauma. I owe it to you to treat you as a human once our time is up, and to give you the after-care and customer service that you deserve for paying so much for My time.
Does this make Me a “fake”? You decide. I know that I am a strong alpha female. I know that I have always been an independent spirit. I know that whenever I have tried to “submit” in work environments, it has blown up in My face. I know that I have always enjoyed kicking men in the balls. I didn’t know about the world of Femdom until 2 years ago, but I am intelligent and motivated and I worked it out for Myself and have built something special that I am very proud of and that is going to last. I’m not in this for instant gain. I want to build a legacy.
So, how do you tell a good, caring Dominant from a complete cunt? Well the number 1 rule to follow is simple: Do they come across as a complete cunt? That’s a pretty good place to start. Do they sp[end their time talking about how their way is the only way? Do they continually publicly smear other ladies (whether directly or indirectly) on social media? Do they talk about men as lesser beings and talk about themselves as royalty?
I’m going to tell you a very well kept secret, so listen carefully:
We are all human!
I know, shocking, isn’t it? People have this habit of putting others on a pedestal. We see it with pop stars, we see it with politicians. But you know what? Saddam was found living in a hole in the ground, Michael Jackson died broke and lonely… We are all human. This whole “do you know who I am” malarkey has to stop. Anyone who thinks that they are better than everyone else doesn’t deserve your attention, however pretty she might be, and however sexy she looks in rubber. Dominance is more than skin deep and coming across as an angry cunt isn’t being dominant.
One thing that will come across if you speak to anyone who has visited Me is that I am a nice person. Does this make Me any less of a Dominatrix? Not at all. You see, I worked out a long time ago that you don’t need to be mean to be dominant. In fact, you don’t need to be dominant to be dominant. You either have an alpha personality or you don’t. You either awe people or you don’t. When slaves are round the house and I want a cup of tea, I say please. When they leave after a session, I say thank you for coming to see Me. I am as grateful as them. I am grateful that they chose to share their experience with Me. I never say “I want.” Never. Even if they are wearing My collar, they deserve to be treated nicely. Men are fragile, just like women. We all have our past traumas, we are all haunted by ghosts. We all have our moments of self doubt, and we all need a bit of love and encouragement.
The rude, cold bitches who talk to you like shit from the first email, take your money and tell you that you are worthless, they are not dominant. They are horrible bullies who are working the system to their advantage. You might get your kick while with them, but you will leave them under a veil of self loathing and shame. As I have mentioned in the past, there is no shame to be had in submitting. You should celebrate your desire to submit! Experiencing your fantasies should make you happy! Anyone who talks to you like dirt doesn’t deserve the time of day. Trust Me.
There are lots of ladies out there who try to impress you with their expensive shoes and a load of bullshit about how successful they are. It’s all pomp. Google them… try and find on-line reviews. Any good Mistress worth Her name will have loads of reviews. Some of them might be fake of course. how to tell? If it is short and non-specific, she probably wrote it herself. I post reviews on My website on a regular basis. All that I ask is “would you please be so kind to write Me a review?” and a few days later I receive a novel, relating every last detail of our time together. Never have I received a short non-specific review along the lines of “Mistress really know how to make me submit. Mistress was so sexy. Mistress really knew how to find her way into my brain…”
If you can’t find anything good about them, then that’s probably because nobody found their experience to be good. Don’t waste your money.
Speaking of wasting money, don’t be fooled by thinking that more expensive means better. There are a few ladies out there charging extortionate rates in order to make themselves appear more “exclusive”. It’s just greed, pure and simple. Their focus is on instant gain, nothing else. Remember, all that shines is not gold.
I choose to expose Myself on both twitter and here on My blog. I have nothing to hide. I am not going to play games with you, nor am I going to try and con you. I show My true face for the world to see, and it has worked for Me so far. And it pains Me to see so many women putting on airs, and leadiing you all with false promises. What pains Me even more is seeing so many of you getting caught up in their games.
So just a word of warning, despite your sexual urges driving you hard, have your wits about you and do your research. All is not what it seems with a lot of Mistresses. And you really don’t want to go putting your trust into the first lady you come across, because it could cost you dearly.
Take care of yourselves boys, don’t gamble your well-being over getting your rocks off.