Punished in public: A letter
A few days ago, I received a rather distressed email from a submissive asking Me for My thoughts and advice on a specific situation. The particular circumstance of which he speaks is one that happens again and again and which I have not only witnessed on many occasions, but even been an instigator of or councillor for Myself. It is something that is not often spoken of aloud, mostly just whispered about behind backs. Therefore, I asked slave r. if he would be happy for Me to publish his letter (all names and places have been changed to protect those invoved) and he responded in the affirmative.
Dear Mistress Evilyne
I have very much enjoyed reading your blog, especially the piece I DON’T THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF SUBMISSION, which I found totally crystallized my own
thoughts on the topic. Your brief description of how your own submissive struggled to find
his own true submission is very comforting.
I wonder if I might venture to invite your comment and perspective on some events, events
with which you may already be familiar.
At the ****** just gone there was a moment in the upstairs room when Mistress Ruth
was inflicting a fairly severe whipping on a tallish thickset man. My impression was that he was
moderately distressed at the treatment he was receiving, at one point Mistress Ruth paused
in her work to rather theatrically inform the onlookers that this slave had said that Mistress
Ruth was not a good enough Mistress, and that she was punishing him accordingly.
Now, I have considered that sometimes there is a certain degree of theatre involved in public
play, and perhaps all was not as it seemed, roleplaying can look strange to onlookers, however
I later saw the slave sitting on the stairs being ‘counselled’ by another Mistress, which led me to
believe that I should accept what I saw and heard at face value.
Ever since that incident I have been stunned and appalled that any submissive would ever think
such a thing, never mind say it, about their mistress, because it is so much at odds with my own
You have a lot of experience here, and I’d really appreciate your comments. If you think, or indeed
know, this is just a bit of roleplay, but if not whether this kind of thing is common, and how he could
could have slipped into such a mindset.
Just for clarity, I’m fully attached in the D&s sense to quite the most perfect Mistress I could possibly
imagine. She makes mistakes, sometimes painful ones *lol*, and is generally human, but why
would I want anything else! The idea of even thinking she’s not good enough is a bit, well, weird, and
Dear slave r.,
First of all, thank you for contacting Me with your concerns and asking for My thoughts on the subject at hand. You have asked Me about the behaviour of the slave and My thoughts on his standing up to Mistress Ruth and saying that She was not a good enough Mistress, and I will respond to this as well as using this as an opportunity to voice My thoughts on what is appropriate communication with a Superior as well as the trials and tribulations of going out to a public event with your Dominant.
First of all though, let us speak of the matter that you wrote to Me about. The slave received a severe beating in public because he told Mistress Ruth that She was not a good enough Mistress. As much as he might have whimpered and sniffled after that beating, as it might have bruised his body and his ego being chastised in such a way in public, how very dare he turn around to his Mistress and tell Her that She is not good enough? That is completely inappropriate. If as a slave, you do not appreciate your Mistress, nobody is stopping you from stepping down and going off to find another one. My thoughts on this matter are that this slave in particular either has problems with undermining authority or is a brat who is seeking punishment in whatever way possible. Either way, he clearly does not understand what D/s is about and is trying to manipulate his owner. She did well to chastise him in public. His choice to go and sulk in a public place (stairs where many people will be passing him) in order to get attention from other people says to Me that he is immature and not ready to serve a Mistress in public. In My opinion, he got what he deserved. Unfortunately for him, he chose the worst place and time to try to push his owner’s boundaries; which brings Me to My next subject, accompanying your Mistress to a public event.
All slaves dream of being at the feet of their Mistress at a club night or gathering. To be able to show their devotion in front of crowds of people. To be able to wear their collar with the pride of being owned by the most amazing Mistress. However, they need to be aware that accompanying their Mistress to an event is incredibly different from serving Her one one one. Events are socials. We go there to meet friends, parade Our favourite outfits, and some of us to drink. All these things need to be kept in mind by the submissive.
When you are alone with your Mistress, just the two of you, all Her attention is on you. When you go out though, it is a very different story. Your Mistress will be talking to lots of people, dragging you around behind Her, expecting you to fetch Her drinks, carry Her coat and bag, and basically be… A SLAVE! Surprise! Who would have thought? Well you would be surprised at how many of you don’t seem to realise this. As much as time together alone might focus on play, your primary goal when accompanying your Mistress to any event is not to have fun, but to make yourself inconspicuous and to do everything within your power to make Her night enjoyable. Carrying Her bags and coat, fetching Her drinks, massaging Her feet, providing your back as a seat or your face as a footstool for as long as She wishes and without complaining. Unless She permits you to do so, you are not to wander off. You probably will not get to interact with Her as much as you wish, and the only pleasure in your night out will be that of having brought pleasure to your Mistress. You are the slave. You are not meant to be the star of the show.
When you get a large group of Dominant Women in a room, there are 2 things that happen. The first one is that They begin to feed off each other’s energy. They share stories, show each other Their slaves, and watch each other playing with submissives. As the evening progresses, especially with the addition of alcohol, tongues become looser and whips start to fly. If you accompany your Mistress to an event, you would be stupid not to think that She will be more aggressive and more likely to push your limits than She would in normal circumstances. She will be fuelled by all the energy in the room, aroused by all the play happening around Her, disinhibited by the alcohol and most importantly, keen to show off in front of Her peers. So if you as a slave are stupid enough to try to undermine Her at such a time, then you will get what you deserve.
It is also good to keep in mind that it will be very hard for any Mistress to provide proper aftercare at a public event. Very few events have the facilities to cater for sub drop and once again, being somewhat enibriated, your Mistress might not find Herself thinking of such things.
The most important thing to remember is that at all times when in public, you are a reflection of your owner. It doesn’t matter how badly They act. If you have chosen to serve Them, it’s like marriage. For better or for worse. As such, it come on your shoulders to be responsible and make your Owner proud. And remember, if you don’t like the way your owner is with you, nobody is stopping you from politely stepping down rather than acting like a spoilt child and stamping your foot. Alternatively, you could organise a meet up in order to discuss both sides of the issue and see if a resolution can be found. But waiting until you are at a public event to blow a raspberry at your owner is completely and utterly stupid.