From man to toilet slave… a journey of discovery
I often receive emails from men telling Me that they desire so badly to be toilet slaves, but are just too scared to take the leap.
Slave r. was one of those men. After some coaxing, I finally convinced him to come and visit Me for his introduction into full toilet servitude. Here is what he had to say after our second meeting.
Today was my second visit to see Mistress Evilyne. Once you have sessioned with Her then that names become imbued with something magickal.
my first time serving as Her toilet was…how to say this?….scary as anything. im 33 and have had a life where i have had to face some pretty hairy moments and situations, but this was something else. Having spent all my adult life as well as an awful lot of my childhood- since i was….9? imagining being a Woman’s Toilet…when i finally decided that I had to go through with it and find out what it was like, put it in my bucket list and follow through with realising my dream…well, its actually very nerve wracking to do it. Would i hate it? Would i love it? Part of me hoped that i would hate it and that the reality would put me off forever from trying it again- almost like ‘cure’ me…because what i wanted to try was so depraved and out there, even within the kink community, that it must say something about me surely? If i liked it, well- at least i would know though, and i wouldn’t be doubting myself. Was i a Woman’s toilet or not?
When i arrived the first time, standing outside Mistress Evilyne’s door, i felt like i was walking into a deep abyss of my own mind. i was so hopped up on 24/25 years worth of both horn (so much yummy fantasies as toilet slave literotica porn out there) and adrenaline, and fear, that i needed and was so grateful for the warmth i was met with in the Mistress I met. To be fair, i had deliberated for so long over this, and done my homework, choosing what I felt was so carefully who i wanted to guide me into this, initiate and baptise me into this particular kink of mine.
i suppose that most of the wank porn out there for toilet service enthusiasts feature, by and large, an aggressive Woman or Women, who use- interchangeably- nonconsent, fear, manipulation and blackmail to achieve their end. A few stories i have read online feature a man who happily serves someone close to him- a wife or girlfriend or lover- as a toilet. But the vast majority feature women who, lets face it, as men- if we met in real life, we would probably run at full pelt to get away from, calling the police and the men in white coats.
With Mistress Evilyne, i have learned within these two past and wonderful sessions, I can feel safe to indulge this kink of mine and serve Her. It is deep within me, a desire to serve and please. And Her demeanour, the tone, the words She uses…all made me feel secure and WANT to serve Her, to entrust myself to Her. Submission that is given willingly and with the heart actually means something, whereas submission forced and taken is not only unethical and illegal but…counter productive.
The juxtaposition of having a woman shit in my mouth and pee over me, in my hair and all over my face, AND to then gently wipe any residual urine away from my eyes (it causing stinging) was….well, touched something inside of me. The power and control of the Woman who did this to me, but coupled with a care and gentleness as well. Having my chest stroked while hearing soft words of encouragement to swallow, that i could do it…induced me to want to do it. To want to please.
Feeling Her fingers trailing across the back which She had just marked up with a couple of elegant whips…gently feeling my skin. i shuddered involuntarily at Her touch, wanting to be felt, to have my existence acknowledged. To share this is myself with someone and have them hold it sensitively, like a gift, the same as i was holding what i had just received as a gift.
Thank You Mistress for these discoveries. Its only later, when i have my wits and my thoughts and my voice back that i can begin to process O/our time together, and i am very grateful for it.
i am a son, i am father, a brother, a cousin, a grandson, a friend. There are many different facets to who i am, and i feel more comfortable already in saying to myself now what You said to me earlier- that i am also a Toilet, and i feel graced to have been used by You. xx