Club pedestal, femdom ettiquette


Being a regular attendant at a rather well known Femdom Club here in London, I have had the privilege of meeting some incredible subs. I have also had the misfortune of encountering some rather unruly and poorly trained men there. Over time, I have compiled a mental list of do’s and dont’s for any slave visiting Pedestal. I hope that this list will be helpful in helping newcomers to the London Femdom scene navigate the complex etiquette attached to it and in turn, that it will help them become better slaves and find a Mistress to serve.
1/DON’T start worshipping without permission:
One of the worst things that you can do is sneak up to a Mistress while She is distracted and start licking and kissing Her feet without asking permission. A Mistress’ feet are not public property and you have no right to worship them without Her expressed authorisation. In fact, it is a privilege to do so and you would do well to remember this.

2/DO open doors:
How often at Pedestal do I have to wait for a slew of men to walk through a door in order to be able to proceed through it Myself? Too often to mention. When you are coming towards a door, always check to see if there is a Lady around who is also heading towards it. If there is, then open the door for Her gallantly, and let Her through. A bow might also be appropriate at this stage.

3/DO warm a cold Lady up:
It is not uncommon to walk up to the rack of dressing gowns only to find it surrounded by men chatting away, and to have to put on the dressing gown Oneself. If you are standing by the entrance to the smoking section, the galant thing to do, and one that will attract the attention of more than one Lady, is to take the dressing gown off the hook and put it onto any Lady that may be approaching the rack to help Herself to one. It is also important to note that if you are in the smoking section, wearing a gown yourself, and you see a Lady shivering, you should obviously offer Her your dressing gown, as She is more important than you.

4/DO help a Lady with her things:
So you want to impress a Mistress? When she gets up from Her seat, immediately begin to gather up Her possessions, bag, drink etc and offer to carry them to whichever destination She has chosen. Try to do this before She even bends over to pick up Her coat or drink.

5/DO approach respectfully, eyes down to the ground:
When approaching a Lady at the club, imagine that She is the Queen of England. Would you swagger toward the Queen, making eye contact all the way, standing high above her, and saying “Hi, I want to worship your feet”? No you would most definitely not! When approaching a Mistress, you should either walk or crawl slowly, head bowed down. Once in front of Her, you should bow even lower.

6/DON’T say “I WANT.” Do say “What can I do for you?”:
The worst mistake that a man can make at Pedestal, and one that most do, is to approach a Lady and start your conversation with “Hello, I want to… (Worship Your feet/serve You/be owned by You/…)”. Remember your place. These Women are at the club in order to relax, be pampered and spoiled. They are not there to do what YOU WANT! Introduce yourself by asking them if they would like to be massaged/served in any way that they see fit. They will see this as you being selfless rather than selfish. A big plus in any Mistress’ book.

7/DON’T touch them without them telling you to. Do not even ask to touch them:
When approaching a Mistress, it is indeed correct to kiss Her hand. But do not grab it in order to kiss it. If the Mistress wishes to follow this protocol, She will put out Her hand for you to kiss. If She does not, then you should at all costs abstain from trying to do so. Never grab a Lady’s shoulder or tap Her on the back to gain Her attention, and certainly Never Ever start touching Her legs unless She gives you permission while you are giving Her a foot massage.

8/DO Bring lotion and sanitiser with you:
A good slave is a well prepared slave. Do you know how many mouths and hands have been at the feet of the Lady that you are serving? Most likely not. Always have a little bag of equipment with you. Essentials are hand sanitiser or sanitising wipes, lotion or massage oil, tissues, a lighter and talcum powder. Whenever you are about to worship a Lady’s feet or shoes, be sure to sanitise them first. The wipes can also come in handy if someone in your vicinity has had a rough scene which has drawn blood and the wounds need to be seen to. Use the lotion for massages. Don’t get a cheap lotion. The nicer it is, and the better quality, the more impressed the lady will be at your thoughtfulness. Tissues are always useful, whether because a lady has a runny nose, or because there has been a spill. Talcum powder is a little post massage trick. Lotions make feet rather slippery. This can cause Ladies’ feet to slide around in heels when they walk and can cause awful pain to the feet. Sprinkle the feet that you have massaged with talcum powder before putting the Lady’s shoes back on Her feet in order to avoid this uncomfortable slipperiness.

9/DON’T demand for a Mistress to spank you:
No Mistress is obliged to spank you. Ladies go to Pedestal in order to have fun. They might want to play, and they might not. Approach a lady respectfully, be of service to Her for half an hour to an hour, and during that time, discuss Her fetishes and yours. If they match up, politely offer yourself as a willing recipient. Get the Lady excited enough in conversation, and She will be delighted to play with you.

10/ DO ingratiate yourself by offering a tribute (gift):
If you are going to Pedestal because there is a particular Mistress whom you are hoping to meet and serve, then come prepared. Bring a small gift with you and wrap it in nice paper. In order to show this Lady that this is not just a random gift that you brought along in order to woo any old girl who comes along, be sure to write an accompanying card before leaving for the club, and pop it in an envelope with Her name on it. Don’t forget, all the rules about “me, me, me” still apply while writing. Show yourself to be selfless.

11/DON’T horde a mistress:
If a Mistress completely surrounded by a gang of slaves? Then do not join the gang. Wait patiently until they dissipate before making your approach. It can be overwhelming for a lady having grovelling men at Her feet as far as the eye can see.

12/DON’T tell Her she is beautiful:
That is a shallow comment. Find something deeper. Yes, We hear it all the time… “You are so beautiful Goddess! So beautiful!” It get boring. You’re just another drooling idiot who has never seen a pretty face before. If you wish to compliment a Mistress, find something better. Compliment Her on Her choice of outfit, Her grace when She moves, or if you know her from the internet, then compliment Her on Her articles/videos/twitter posts etc. Dominance is deeper than skin. We all know our looks will fade. So choose to highlight something with a bit more meaning.

13/DON’T make enemies:
Be nice to other slaves. A slave with jealous tendencies is an egotistical slave. This is not a pretty attribute. Be friendly to other men at Pedestal. Give each other tips, help each other. You are all in this together. When you are at a Mistress’ feet, be nice to any other men who are also there. Talk to them, treat them like human beings. Say hello and tell them your name. You are no better than them and should not act as if you are superior. Help each other out with teaching how to talk to and act with a Mistress. If you see another man doing something wrong, why not take him aside and gently exlain to him the better way to go about it. Likewise, wouldn’t it be nice to receive tips from seasoned subs? Be nice and others will be nice to you.

14/DON’T barge in between a Mistress and another slave:
One of the worst things that you can do is to push yourself in between a Mistress and a slave whom She is talking to. I have seen this countless times. A slave will be sitting on the floor beside My sofa and he will edge away by a few inches in order to pick something up. At this moment, another man will throw himself into that small space in order to grab My attention. This is rude, and it is inconsiderate toward the other slave who was there first. Would you like to have that done to you? Don’t be an opportunistic bastard.

  • neil

    Just to say that was really helpful. Trying to work up the courage to attend a fetish club, and having the protocol explained so clearly really helps. Thank you Mistress.

    9th April 2014 at 11:02 am
  • Thank you so much Mistress! (curtsy)
    I’ve been chatting with a Mistress on-line and may actually get to meet her in real life (eek!). This will be my first ever encounter with another person as Annabelle and I’ve been so terribly nervous not knowing how to behave. You may have saved Mistress from my misbehavior and saved me so much punishment! Your eternally grateful servant, Sissy Annabelle

    7th January 2016 at 7:25 am
  • slavelee79

    Having not yet had the privilege of attending a Femdom club, may I please thank You for this invaluable advice.
    Thank You Mistress Evilyne.

    10th November 2016 at 10:20 pm

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