bdsm and life as a male submissive

The Rules of the Game: A lesson in Submission

Or
‘Slavery for Dummies’

Every week I receive emails from men asking to be My live in slave. These men whom I have never met and know absolutely nothing about write Me long emails asking to move in with Me, be chained/chastised/caged… and be treated like dirt and forced into hard labour (see here). I feel that it is My duty to educate all you wank happy idiots on how all this works, because far too many of you have ABSOLUTELY NO GOD DAMN IDEA of how any of this works.

Therefore, I have decided to write a little (or maybe long, we’ll have to see how it develops as I write it) F.A.Q on servitude, submission and slavery for all you brain dead wank-masters out there.

Addendum: From now on, anyone who sends Me one of those awful emails will receive a link to this blog post and a photo of TubGirl in response.

Can I move in with you to become your slave?
Do I know you? Have we ever met? Why would I move someone whom I know absolutely nothing about into My home and personal life? Why on earth would you think that receiving an email from a total stranger would move Me to accept them into My life as a significant other for a long term basis? I am NOT a mail order bride! Are you planning on paying the rent, council tax and bills? Of course you aren’t. You want to give up all responsibilities and push them all over in My direction. You want to be a little child with no worries except whether Mistress wants a foot massage. ~That isn’t how it works.

Why are you asking for money? If you are really into this, you’ll do it all for free.

My house costs over 3K a month before bills. My playspace costs over 1.5K. Add onto that vet bills for the cats, clothes, food, income tax, hair dressers, travel, nail salons, home maintenance etc, and the pounds pile up. And on top of it, you want Me to take someone into My home whom I will have to feed, clothe etc? NO! The ENTIRE point of servitude is to support your Mistress’s lifestyle. The #1 way to do this is financially. I enjoy what I do, and I do love having personal D/s relationships, but every hour spent with a personal slave is an hour during which I am not earning a living. If you want to be in My life, I expect to be supported financially by you, no discussions.

Can you keep me caged like an animal?
No, no and NO! Have you ever in your life read an article about people who have been imprisoned on a long term basis? Muscles start to atrophy, rendering them unable to walk, mental illness sets in, and all sorts of other ailments… blood pools in the extremities etc. Also, My guess is you would piss and shit in a pot. And you would of course expect Me to clean that up for you. If you really think this is a viable option, I recommend checking yourself into a mental health facility because your brain needs some serious rewiring.

Can I eat your shit every day? I want to be your full time toilet. 
As much as I love human toilets, and I actively encourage anybody with this fetish to pursue it, living off of poo is completely unviable. Poo is predigested food. DI-GES-TED means all the nutrition has been sucked out of it and what comes out of the body is the waste that the gastro-intestinal system was unable to process. Living off shit would not only put a huge strain on your digestive system, it would also be about as nutritious as living off paper towels soaked in water.

Can we go for a date and if we get along I become your slave?

I am more than happy to go to dinner with you. However, I will expect to be tributed for My time (see above). Deciding during a dinner date if you are to move into My home and be My live in slave… well that is never going to happen. A meal is no way to see if two people match up well in play, or in life.

Ok, I get it. So how do I become your slave then?
If you approach Me speaking of slavery, that is already a direct disqualification. You have an end game in mind and will always be looking towards that and be dissatisfied until you have reached it. I am a big believer in living in the here and now. As long as you are looking at an end goal, you are drawing your attention away from the present and completely missing out on the most important part: the natural building of a relationship.

If you like the look and sound of Me, book a session. Come and play with Me. Session with Me regularly and a bond will grow naturally. Eventually, once I trust you, I might start asking you to serve Me personally. We might even go out and do things together… let things happen naturally. Don’t rush them. After all, a D/s relationship is as involved as a marriage. would you pick a woman on okcupid and write to Her saying you want to move into her house, get married, buy a dog and have children together? OF COURSE NOT! Why? Because that makes you look like a madman who needs to be locked up. Same circus, different monkey. Leave things the space to happen naturally. Don’t even talk of D/s. Let it come if a bond grows between us. Be patient and stop thinking with your cock like a complete fucktard. Oh and one other thing, if you read femdom erotica etc. (which is presumably where you got all these outlandish ideas) remember that IT IS FICTION! That stuff doesn’t work in real life. It’s like reading Cinderella and believing that Prince Harry is going to find your shoe after you drove to Buckingham palace in a magic pumpkin and thing “Eureka! I’ve found my one and only love!”. Things don’t happen like that.

19 Comments
  • Spot.
    On.
    ❤️

    18th May 2016 at 11:56 am
  • Ian
    Reply

    A vital impassioned piece! For You, an unfortunate side effect of putting Yourself out there, to the benefit of so many men who wish to explore their sexuality in thoughtful and constructive ways, is that You are on the front line, also facing up to any the wild fantasies of any crazy who feels like contacting You!

    I suspect that men who approach You with ill considered proposals like the one that inspired this article are generally very inexperienced in BDSM, and haven’t developed the means to understand how it works in practice. Wiser novices, who I hope make up the majority, don’t make such mistakes, but there will be a few whose hormones short circuit the natural functions of their brains. And unlike their wiser brethren, they lack the life-experience, intuition and empathy to see beyond the fantasy.

    I hope that Your article will help guide such gentlemen in a more positive direction, and encourage them to book a session, and see what develops. Or at least leave You and Your Sister Dominas in the real world alone!

    18th May 2016 at 12:10 pm
  • Thank you very much, miss.
    It is an honour for me folow you in twitter some since time ago. Your precisions about D/s are very clarifiying about what it is. I am born at my submissive life few time ago and that all you said are like commandaments for me to no be a dummy when i will approach a mistess.
    Thank you very much, again.
    I liked very much to can read that in this your wonderful blog. in the sucessive i will be more attentive to what you wrote here.
    With big regards and submissives bend overs:
    Jesus

    18th May 2016 at 12:28 pm
  • JESSICA
    Reply

    Very well said! I can’t stand many demands from so called ‘slaves’, but I am grateful I have a few slaves that have served me for almost a decade now – undemanding and the bdsm just works, so relationships can happen from continued sessions etc. This I think is exactly what most Dominatrices feel about the contact from submissive types. Also the annoying one is an expectation of me being horny all the time. I’m not always horny! I switch that shit on when I want to! lol 🙂 Also very lengthy dirty story emails – yawn yawn scroll scroll no. 🙂 Anyhow, Well said Miss Evilyne.

    18th May 2016 at 12:43 pm
  • LsDs4life
    Reply

    I have been a live in sub for 10 years, in a FDM. I can testify that it’s much more about being of useful service than constant fetish play, although that is also a big part. It’s about respecting the Domme sub relationship at all times, while working hard to pay all the bills so that she may enjoy a more leisurely life and more activities of her choosing.
    The novice reveals himself with such impetuous requests and lack of self control in desire to hand over authority to an unknown Domme.
    Thank you for your post, time and consideration of my thoughts.
    Respectfully always.

    18th May 2016 at 1:28 pm
  • Agree! 100%

    18th May 2016 at 2:08 pm
  • Bravo.

    Perfectly put and to the point.

    If only men had enough blood in their bodies to run both their brain and their penis at the same time…

    18th May 2016 at 3:53 pm
  • The ignorant emails reveal the lack of respect for a lady’s time. Hopefully the writers will take the time to read a learn. Things can go so much smoothely if there is respect and consideration.

    18th May 2016 at 5:20 pm
  • Yes, but can i be your full time slave?

    18th May 2016 at 5:49 pm
  • Rob
    Reply

    Yes, yes, yes…thank You for posting this! It is surely a dual respect- to You and to him/heself…ie, having some self respect as well to value that they are not cheap commodities, the same as You are not Mistress.
    Thank God for common sense and i hope your blog is read by those who very much NEED to read it

    18th May 2016 at 10:29 pm
  • Thank you Miss Evilyne for the article as it served as a looking glass into myself and why I am where I am and not progressing towards anything but wanking off more and more to untenable scenes and situations that will never happen, increasing my disassociation from intimacy and ever establishing meaningful relationships with real people. In the fullness of time all will be revealed and the burning will begin. Match.com light one up!!

    19th May 2016 at 12:16 pm
  • Eloquent and insightful as always!

    20th May 2016 at 10:39 am
  • Femfan
    Reply

    Brilliant, hilarious, and truly inspired use of swearing! I think I’m in love, oh fuck, hold on, I just missed the entire point!!! 😉

    1st June 2016 at 8:15 am
  • Mz Sydney
    Reply

    I absolutely love this piece!

    7th December 2016 at 4:59 am
  • John Evals
    Reply

    Yess Mistress Evilyne, all those things are reality, but most just want to describe a fantasy that fuels their excitement. Thinking seriously what it actually entails hour for hour, day for day, week for week is not part of it. A part of this is what’s in it for You, because why should You care,,,
    But obviously a slave must be prepared to contribute half of Your expense ( at least). So either he has assets or can earn money for You.

    3rd January 2017 at 10:14 pm
  • Madame Caramel
    Reply

    I agree wholeheartedly. MC

    9th January 2017 at 11:57 am
  • Matt Roberts
    Reply

    Very well said, Ms Evilyne. You talk perfect sense and I agree some slaves do need to realise the difference between fantasy and reality.
    Like any relationship I think the more respect, time and patience you show your Mistress, the more She gets to know you, the more likely she is to take a liking to you as a slave.

    9th January 2017 at 5:17 pm
  • Peter Ellis
    Reply

    That’s pretty funny, but i made the mistake of clicking on TubGirl – not good!

    16th May 2017 at 6:30 pm

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