The natural order of things

Look at the natural world. From insects to mammals, passing by creatures of the sea… Whichever realm it is that you look at in the animal kingdom, the same patterns always emerge. It would seem that some avian species might be an exception, but apart from this, the general rule seems to stand strong: The male’s role in life is only to fertilise as many eggs as possible and he will risk death to do so. The males of most species are programmed to completely disregard their own safety in order to spread their genes.

Male spiders will put on the most amazing displays for a female in the hope of being chosen, full well knowing that either way, he will get eaten. Sea elephants battle to the death for the position of alpha male within a herd, because it’s worth risking death in order to be able to inseminate so many females. Male moths and butterflies (as many other species such as mosquitoes) don’t have the ability to feed themselves, as their adult life is so short that they will die after procreation, despite the fact that the female may procreate with many males in order to inseminate her eggs with as much variety of D.N.A. as possible. In fact, male ants die at the moment of orgasm. Still though, their entire adult life is spent in search of that one moment of relief.

Humans are animals (anyone who disagrees with this has no time being here and should go and get an education). We may have houses with running water, iphones, and aeroplanes, but we still eat and shit, get sick, and get fed off by parasites. We are animals. The females of the species are pre-programmed to nest in order to attract roaming males to the warmth and comfort of it, and the males are still programmed to be completely controlled by their sexuality and their need to spread their genes far and wide.

The reason for which I am talking about this is because of the quantity of emails that I receive on a daily basis from men wanting to get their kicks in the most ridiculously dangerous ways. You boys seem to have a death wish, just like the male spider or the praying mantis. As long as you get your kicks, it doesn’t seem to matter that you might end up with one less leg, blood poisoning, or simply with not being alive any more. The moment you become sexually motivated, all common sense flies out of the window and you want the most ridiculous things which, if I carried them out, would put you in hospital or maybe even an early grave.

Part of My job is to be the responsible one. Part of My job is making sure that you don’t end up in a situation where you will lose all your money and end up homeless, have to go to hospital to get a part of your colon removed in an emergency operation and have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life, or even wind up in an early grave. You all seem so completely incapable of thinking clearly and taking care of yourselves that I have to take that responsibility.

I know that men are idiots. When I worked in kitchens, I saw it all the time. If I get a little rash or lump, if I feel pain somewhere where I don’t usually, I head straight to My doctor and ask for a check up. I take care of Myself and work hard on NOT DYING. Men however, do not approach life like that. I would see men in kitchens develop really abnormal conditions that would become very severe. I would tell them to get it checked out, but their view was always : “My foot is only swollen, I’m sure it will go down… It still fits in my shoes and I can still work. I’m sure it will be fine. It smells a bit funny, but I’m sure it will be fine…. It’s gone a funny shade of green and it’s pulsating and there’s puss coming out from under my toenails, but I really need to get these quails boned. I can’t go the the doctor now, service starts in 1 hour!” <– This is a true story, by the way. One of My colleagues once got trench foot from wearing the same shoes in a hot and sweaty environment day in day out. We had to physically drag him to the hospital because he didn’t want to miss out on service.

So, you come to Me asking to eat 2 week old shit for example. or wanting to have garbage stuffed up your arse. If I did either of these things, you would most likely end up in hospital, or because you are a man and men don’t take care of themselves and seek help when they get sick, you might go home, get very sick but try to fend it off on yourself and die. In either case, not only are you putting your own life in danger, but you are also putting My career in danger. If anything like that happened, it would be traced back to Me, and I would be arrested. You may not have enough self respect to care about what happens to you and whether getting your kicks kills you or handicaps you for life, but I do care about Myself and I refuse to put Myself in a position where shit can come back and bite Me. Therefore, I have to be the brains for both of us.

So I’m terribly sorry if you contacted Me for a session and I refused to hang you by your neck while I put the venus 2000 on your cock.  I’m sorry if I refused to go and pick up random dog shit off the street to feed it to you. I’m sorry if I refused to empty your bank account and make you put yourself in debt for Me. I’m sorry if I refused to take you to Soho and whore you out bareback to random guys. But you know what? I’m not really sorry. If you want to put your life in danger, do it in your own time. I refuse to hold a death on My conscience, you fucking morons.

Moral of the story: Yes, men really are idiots and they should all be grateful toward Women like Myself for being so intelligent, superior, and actually giving a fuck and giving them the chance to live another day rather than being a black widow and eating them alive.

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